Cabin Fever

It’s that time of year. Friggin’ winter won’t leave, and I just want to get a whole bunch of writing done before Spring. A couple days ago I was like, “Sweet! It’s Sunday, and I got no plans. I’m bout to write all day long!” Instead, I spent the day moving snow. Shoveling off the garage was the hardest part, and I had to lay down a couple times during the process. What I’m getting at here is that morale is low. Everyone’s cooped up. Morale is declining. Friendly advice: if you take a vacation to Mexico this time of year, don’t complain about it when you get back. You say, “It was nice, but I’m just glad to be home.”

And the writing has to get did before youth baseball starts, because I’m going to be busier than a two headed snake in a maternity ward for mice. Lots and lots of writing. And other stuff. There are, most likely, not enough hours in the day for the things I’m trying to accomplish. Which reminds me… stay tuned for a brand new episode of Destroy the Files, the podcast I do with my pal Kate Jonez. If you haven’t listened to us yet, you totally should! Listen on Spotify or wherever you get your podcasts.

Also, I finished watching The Last of Us. I loved it. Some people had issues with episode 3 (“I don’t have a problem with gay people. I just don’t think it fit in the story.”), but I didn’t. I appreciated that, even in that horror-world, happiness is possible. They found love, and they left their awful world on their own terms. I didn’t play the game (yet), but I appreciated the impossible decisions laid out for the characters. I love the take on zombies and the regimes that emerged in response. Plenty of philosophical questions to ponder. Great show, but not for everyone. Like my 10-year-old. I don’t think he’d like anything about it (lame!).

Lastly, go to Amazon and buy my books. Leave reviews. Heck, even read ’em if you want! Sales and reviews are the things that keep an author writing when it’s late at night and the author wonders if any of his efforts are worthwhile. Heck, Chuggie #1 is FREE for your Kindle!


I imagine this post is more for me than anybody else, due in part to the fact that nobody reads these except the Google spiders. That’s fine. Mainly, I just came to say that after months of making excuses, I’ve started to make a little progress instead. I’ve got my little planner book. I’ve got my little tarot app on my phone. I’m a little more organized and a little more motivated. I’d like Pumpkin Guts to be done and sent off by the end of the month. Maybe it’ll fly, maybe it won’t, but April’s coming fast. Once May hits, it gets damn hard to write stuff. Who knows? Maybe this time I’ll build up some momentum and keep it rolling.

CG Jung said “You are what you do, not what you say you’ll do.” Me, I want to be a writer. Sometimes I am. Here’s hoping I am more than I’m not in the months ahead. Here’s hoping I can climb the mountain and light the Demon Torch of Fuhl Thraga Shaka. Let’s fuggin’ boogie, man!

The Sand Taker – Audio

I am thrilled to inform you that my short story “The Sand Taker” has been recorded in convenient audiobook format, and it is all kinds of ready for YOU to listen to! My pal Jordan Etheredge provided the narration for this one. You may remember her from her brilliant work on the audiobook for my novella Cruce Roosters. She does such a great job, I cannot recommend her enough. I could go on and on, but I’ll just let her speak for herself.

I happily present “The Sand Taker,” by me, narrated by Jordan Etheredge:

This story originally appeared in my short story collection DOOMSDAY FURNACE. Get yourself a copy of Doomsday Furnace by Brent Michael Kelley HERE.

Apex Predator

What’s up, Suckas! I did a painting last year called Apex Predator. The painting hangs at the Groundwork Grappling, the Brazilian Jiu Jitsu academy where I train. I’ve had a number of people ask me where they can get a print, and I’m here today to tell you that there are TWO fancy places where you can do that! Apex Predator is available as a print at and I have also applied the art to a number of products, so if you’d like a wall clock or water bottle or whatever with this painting on it, all of your wildest dreams are about to come true! The best part? If you order prints or whatever of Apex Predator… *I GET MONEY!*

This Apex Predator is highly trained in the art of Brazilian Jiu Jitsu. Up in the mountains, this monstrous beast trains day and night. He’s a snarling, raging creature, and if you confuse him with “Cocaine Bear,” he is likely to become far angrier. ALSO!!! There is an alternate design in the works. A digitized “64-bit” design will be available soon, because I know you love Sega Genesis.

If I can sell a bunch of these, it might just help drive me to make others, so I’d love it if you shared this with someone you know who has similar amazing taste in fine art. YOU ROCK!